Positive Coping Strategies for Kids

All of us - even kids - experience stress, challenges and negative emotions. This is especially true during big transitions and it can help to teach your child positive coping strategies and help them practice.

Explaining Big Emotions

To help kids understand what is happening in their brain when they have big emotions we talk about their ‘Wise Owl’ & ‘Guard Dog’.

Meet the Wise Owl

Our Wise Owl is the neocortex in our brain - the thinking and problem solving part of the brain. It has good ideas and makes smart decisions.

Meet the Guard Dog

Our Guard Dog is our amygdala in our brain - the 'threat detector’. Its job is to notice danger and tell our body what to do to keep safe.

When our Guard Dog thinks it senses that something is unsafe, it starts barking and scares away our Wise Owl. Our Guard Dog protects us by telling us to fight, run away or freeze up.

Just like a real dog, sometimes our Guard Dog starts barking because there really is something dangerous that we need to be aware of, but sometimes it starts barking at something silly (like a squirrel!) and there’s nothing dangerous at all. Positive coping skills are things we can do to calm our Guard Dog down and call back our Wise Owl so we can think clearly and make good choices.

Want to learn more?

Wise Owl & Guard Dog

Fight, Flight, Freeze & Anxious Feelings

Deep Breathing

Having a strategy to take deep breaths can help us calm down when we’re feeling upset. Encourage slow, deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.

Practice Balloon Belly Breathing Together: Lie on the floor with a favourite toy sitting on your tummies, make sure it goes up with the inhale and down with the exhale!

Noticing Our Senses

Connecting with any or all of our five senses is fun to do and settles big feelings. For little ones, keep it simple.

Let’s Practice Together: When you have a moment, stop and see how many sounds you can hear. Try it on a family car ride or while making dinner!

“Heavy Work” Activities

“Heavy Work” is a term used in Occupational Therapy that refers to activities that move the body against resistance. These activities generally have a calming or organizing effect.

Pushing/Pulling - wall push-ups, sweeping or raking
Lifting/Carrying - carrying a heavy backpack, moving chairs into the table
Jumping/Running - hopscotch, skipping
Chewing/Sucking - chewy or crunchy foods, using a straw/suction water bottle

Check out this full list from 5 Counties Children’s Centre

Positive Self-Talk

Being kind and encouraging with ourselves really does make a difference. Teach kids the power of positive self-talk early on by developing things they can say to themselves when they need a cheerleader!

Practice Self-Talk Bracelets Together: Use letter beads to make a bracelet together with something your child will say to themselves when they have hard feelings. You can also use different shapes of beads to represent words like “loved”, “curious”, “family” that connect to a positive statement!

Transition to Kindergarten: Supporting Emotional Regulation

Starting school is a big milestone - both for your child and for you! Here are some things that can help as you prepare to manage the big feelings that can come with this big transition.

Establish Routines

We’ve all been told that kids love structure and predictability but the reality is that us adults do to! Consistent daily routines for getting ready in the morning, getting home from school and getting to bed can help can help kids feel secure and less anxious about the transition to school, and can help caregivers from feeling overwhelmed.

Encourage Communication

Practice talking about feelings and concerns about starting school. Listen closely to your child, reassure them that it’s okay to feel nervous, excited, curious - all sorts of feelings! Time and attention is the best gift we give to our children, it fuels their self-confidence and self-esteem.

Practice Separating and Returning Together

Practice being apart from your child. Start small and gradually increase your time apart to allowing your child to have fun with another family member, trying a class at your local community center, or having a playdate. Build some traditions around leaving each other and returning together - maybe it’s a special hug, a secret handshake, or a special saying. It’s good practice for kids - and good practice for caregivers!

Teach and Practice Positive Coping Strategies

On the other side of this card we have highlighted some simple coping strategies for kids and you will find that this will be a part of your child’s learning at school. Pick some family favourites and help your child practice when they are feeling overwhelmed. Try them yourself and show your child that you use strategies to manage strong feelings too - consider asking them to take a few deep breaths with you or help you count to ten.

Encourage Social Skills

Help your child practice playing with other kids their age. This could be sharing sand toys at the beach, playing with a neighbour, or enrolling in a more organized social activity. Help your child understand that at school our play is ‘hands-off”, even with their siblings who they might play differently with at home.

Know That We Want You To Be Involved

At KPR we are excited to partner with caregivers in their child’s education journey. Our education teams look forward to building a positive relationship with you, and we are excited to see you at school events or as part of our volunteer opportunities. We are happy to work with caregivers who might work out of town or have other barriers to joining us in person - there are lots of ways to be an active part of your child’s school experience.

Transitioning to school isn’t just the first day. It’s normal for students to love attending school for the first week, and then to begin to express some dissatisfaction or a desire to stop attending after several days or weeks. Talk to your child’s education team and let them know how things are going - they have a lot of experience with kids starting school and are here to help!